10 Life Lessons That My Fears Have Taught Me
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.— Rudyard Kipling
I’m not sure when my fear started to control me. I can remember specific events in my life where my fear held me back, but it seems like it has always been there lurking in the background. For a long time, I thought that my fear was just a part of who I am and that I had to accept it. But then something changed…I realized that my fear was actually teaching me important lessons about life. And once I learned how to see these lessons, I could start doing something about my fear.
There are two different kinds of fears which come from two other parts of the brain! The first one is located inside our limbic system, which means it’s more intuitive and related to our emotions; so far can’t choose what to be afraid of between life-threatening things (like getting fired at work) or something less important like spilling coffee on your new shirt. This kind of fear will give us an instant reaction that we don’t need to think about too much before taking action against it. The second type is known as “cognitive” this one comes from the prefrontal cortex (the most evolved part in humans), which makes us analyze steps by steps what has happened until finally deciding what will happen next.
Here are ten things that my fear has taught me about life (and what you can do about it too!)
1- Fear will never go away! It will always remain inside us as a voice that tries its best to keep us safe by any means necessary, making our stay in our comfort zone forever. But if we want to grow and experience new adventures, we need to exercise and be brave enough to ignore its advice at times (but not all the time).
2- Fear is not logical (but it can be rationalized)! It has no brain, no conscience, but it will make you believe the worst of anything. If, for example, I am about to go rock climbing on a wall too high for my preferences, fear will make me think that falling from there equals death. So instead of encouraging me to wear some safety equipment and practice regularly before making any big decisions, fear jumps to conclusions based on previous experiences without even trying to know more about it!
3- Fear can come in many different shapes or forms depending on what kind of life you’re living! For example, if you are working for an oil company deep underwater with highly explosive gasses floating around, your fear level will rise when you see gory pictures of oil spills in the news or hear about it on tv. If you live by the beach, your fear will rise if a tsunami warning is in place for your area. So depending on what you care about most, anxiety can be more sensitive to specific things than others.
Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire— Dale Carnegie
4- Fear will always suggest quick choices and actions instead of making us think twice before making any significant decisions! This makes our brain believe that something may not be suitable for us even though we know deep inside that this isn’t true. Our mind becomes so confused with so many mixed messages coming from everywhere (parents, teachers, friends) that it just stops thinking at all and takes a stand based on previous experiences without trying to understand the whole picture.
5- Fear will usually give you the easy route as a way to go around it! It’s as simple as that, don’t do anything that gives you any discomfort, and your fear is gone. But although it may seem an easy way out, our life becomes so dull with no excitement at all! So by doing this, we miss so many unique opportunities which would have given us a lot more pleasure in our lives if we were strong enough to take them instead of running back home with our tails between our legs.
6- Fear can be contagious sometimes! Especially when someone close to us starts being afraid about something, then suddenly we start being afraid too, even though there isn’t anything making us feel this way. A good example would be when we catch a cold, and then our friend comes to us and shows their symptoms; even though we felt fine 20 minutes ago, we start feeling the same thing because we don’t want to look bad/we’re afraid of looking weak in front of someone else.
7- Fear is strongly related to what you believe about yourself! If your inner voice tells you that you are not good enough for something, it’s straightforward to give in to fear and avoid everything that might make you feel uncomfortable around people, especially if you lack social skills. But if instead of listening to what you think others might say about you behind your back, try paying close attention to whether they care about your actions or not. If they do, then it’s most probably meant as a way of encouragement, and if they don’t, it’ll be their loss in the end (if you want to think like this).
8- Fear will always try to convince you that something terrible is about to happen, even if there isn’t any objective evidence behind it! This can be a very sneaky thing for fear because we all know how much our mind loves stories featuring lots of drama, so we can have something exciting going off now and then. Our brain will start looking out for anything negative going on around us without actually realizing what’s happening, so we’re surprised by what happens next.
9- Sometimes, fear prefers to stay silent about things! It doesn’t always need to tell us that it’s there and will only show itself when it thinks you’re not expecting anything wrong to happen. Fear likes challenging things… but usually stays quiet during the process of facing the challenge! I guess it’s only humans that facing difficulties in life will make any of us feel uneasy about it, but fear is especially good at making you believe things are worse than they are. It’ll be there to support you if you give up quickly, just like it’ll be there to say “I told you so” if you manage to keep trying until finally succeeding.
10- Fear spends most of its time thinking about the worst-case scenario, no matter how unlikely it might be! When fear wants something done, it doesn’t like waiting too long before taking action! Especially when it thinks your hesitation can cause it to lose some control over what happens next. Fear will always make you believe that things will worsen instead of making them better! It’s an easy trick for fear because we usually tend to look at everything from a single perspective. Once we think we’ve got everything all figured out, then we start thinking everything is safe again…. until something makes us realize that our mind has deceived us yet again.
Something about fear struck me a few years ago.
What if fear is not here to stop me from moving ahead, but rather for the purpose of showing me something new?
I’m not sure what to say. Something occurred to me as I understood it: Fear only appeared when I was getting ready to make a change. I was attempting to discover how to get from where I am now to where I wanted to be.
When we want more from life, anxiety appears.
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear, as I previously said, may be regarded as an adversary or a companion. If we regard fear of our opponent as something to be fought, we will continue to fight it. We’ll search for a solution that allows us to “battle through” it, avoid it, or keep thinking good thoughts.
We understand that fear is natural and good. It’s a natural part of the development process, and we don’t have to fight it. “Hello, fear… I see you. I know I’m about to make some changes, and I realize that your presence here is a symptom that I’m on the correct path.”
When we look at fear in a new light, we can learn more about it and work with it instead of constantly battling it. Our fear might be transformed into an ally rather than one that resists us when we befriend it.
I have learned many things from my fears, but the most important lessons are these: first, that fear is not something to be ashamed of. Second, that fear can be a powerful motivator. And finally, that facing our fears is often the best way to overcome them. What life lessons has your fear taught you?