How Dying Changes Everything - The Deathbed Test

Has anything changed about your life recently that is making you feel more alive now than ever before?

When someone we love is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, our lives are turned upside down. We experience an enormous amount of stress as we try to cope with the situation. Our emotions are in turmoil and we find ourselves struggling to maintain a sense of equilibrium. We become hyper-aware of our physical sensations and feelings of fatigue. And many of us begin to realize that we don’t have the “juice” we used to have. We start to feel physically drained and mentally exhausted. And many of us begin to experience a dramatic decrease in our mental acuity and our ability to make good decisions.

What will people say about me at my funeral? That’s a good question to think about.

In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware shares that the number one regret in life is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

You need to ask yourself: “When I’m looking back on my life, from my deathbed, which one of these options will I regret not doing the most?” Use that answer to helpfully guide you.

The reality is we are going to die sooner or later, the question is how you live defines the dying. There are many instances in life where a major life threatening illness for self or someone makes someone realize the value of life. That’s what Dying does. I used to think that when people passed away, they went straight to heaven or to a better place. But now, I know they don’t. No. When people die, their life force goes into the earth. It becomes a part of the earth. So, when people look back on their lives, they will see how their deeds affected other people and the world around them. This is called karma.

Dying gives you clarity

Dying gives you freedom

Dying allows you to make amends

Dying brings acceptance

Dying lets you let go

Dying helps you forgive

Dying sets you free

The average lifespan is 30,000 days. That time is always, always ticking.

And you will never be as young as you are right now.

So what does that mean?

Well, you have two choices.

You can either be horribly depressed by this thought.

You can feel as though nothing really matters since we are all ashes to ashes and dust to dust in the end. The game is already over! What’s the point of this? Of anything? Who cares? Why try? Or, if you do care or do try, maybe it’s because you feel like this weird life on Earth thing is some kind of ‘waiting room’ or ‘test’ towards a higher ideal or better place where we live for infinity after this life is done.

Or.

You can be incredibly liberated by this thought.

We are all going to die! So? This really matters. This! Right here. It really matters. Today really matters. The voicemail you leave for your mom? It really matters. The note you put in your kids lunch? It really matters. Putting you phone away  to really connect with your family over dinner? It really matters. The smile you share with a neighbor? It really matters. The art you’re making? The risk you’re taking? The cake you’re baking?

It really matters.

It really matters.

Likewise, it really matters.

All of it.

It does.

Because there’s not much time.

So in this limited time we have here, in the limited minds we have here, all swimming somewhere inside this vast expanding universe – which, we have no idea what it even is and how it got here and why we got here – our only job, duty, and goal is to live every single day like it is so precious and beautiful a unique and rare and fleeting and finite.

Because it is.

And because this matters.

It matters.

The choice of being horribly depressed or incredibly liberated is up to you.

We all die, and when we do, our entire life can change in an instant. What was important yesterday can become trivial today. What was significant and meaningful yesterday may not be so important or meaningful today. This can happen to you today, too. Don’t let this discourage you; let it spur you on to living each day as if it were your last. After all, it could very well be.