The Painful Truth About Becoming Awake

This has been lingering in my mind for quite some time: the notion that becoming awakened is tantamount to lucidly perceiving our own confusion.

Let’s delve in that today.

Now, what exactly does this mean? Firstly, allow me to clarify that I do not profess to have attained enlightenment or possess all the answers.

Nonetheless, as I have progressed in my pursuit, I have come to a remarkable realization: the more knowledge I acquire, the more acutely aware I become of my ignorance.

Initially, when I began exploring the realm of spirituality, I harboured several expectations and assumptions of what it entailed to be “awake.” I presumed that awakening equated to having an unobstructed comprehension of reality, a liberation from suffering, access to higher wisdom and authority, and the ability to transcend the ego and the mind. I believed that being awakened would grant me a permanent state of euphoria and harmony.

However, as I immersed myself further into various teachings and practices, I discovered that my presumptions were erroneous. In actuality, it was the opposite that rang true.

It entailed acknowledging how much pain and misery I was causing myself and others through my attachments, aversions, judgments, and beliefs. It involved recognizing how limited and conditioned my perception and comprehension were by my ego and mind. It required me to appreciate how much I still needed to learn and unlearn.

This was not an effortless or pleasant undertaking. On the contrary, it was often excruciating, humbling, and demanding. It compelled me to scrutinize everything I had previously assumed and believed. It forced me to confront my fears, uncertainties, and insecurities, and confront my shadows and wounds. It left me feeling vulnerable and exposed.

However, it also brought about an array of positive changes. It made me more authentic, honest, and compassionate. It instilled within me a sense of openness, curiosity, and humility. It heightened my awareness, mindfulness, and presence. It evoked a deep sense of gratitude, joy, and love.

In essence, I believe that becoming awakened is primarily about recognizing our confusion more clearly, allowing us to dissolve it through consciousness, wisdom, and empathy. It is not about achieving an ultimate destination or an idyllic state.

It is about being willing to face ourselves and the world in their true form, as opposed to as we aspire them to be. It is about having the courage to accept our flaws and limitations while embracing our strengths and potential.

Therefore, if you find yourself feeling perplexed or uncertain on your spiritual path, do not fret.

And that, in itself, is a beautiful thing.